Starting Over

Today is the beginning of another new journey. I started CrossFit on May 8, 2012. It changed my life. It gave me more courage and confidence than anything else in my life. I picked up my life and moved to California in March 2013.

Growing up, I was always crazy skinny. I could eat whatever the hell I wanted and I never gained a pound. The first time I realized I gained some extra pounds was after my sophomore year in high school. I realized my pants were tight after uncomfortably sitting through a play one night. I had to go buy some new pants. Every 5 years after that, I realized my metabolism slowed down and I gained a few more pounds. In high school I weighed 116.

15 years later, I weigh 150. I don't want to get back to my high school weight. I was a child back then. I'm a woman now. And honestly, I looked anorexic back then. However, I'm not particularly happy with where I'm at now either. The ultimate goal would be in the 130's. But I also want to get away from the "number on the scale." That's been my struggle. I keep eating whatever the hell I want. So at this point, I realize that I have emotional connections with food. I go back and forth. I go through phases where I eat healthy and I get to a weight that I'm happy with. But then sadness happens, and I eat. And I gain back some weight.

So I decided to sign up for a CrossFit competition. I need something to get me focused on my nutrition. I have the exercise part down. Although I plan to kick that up a little bit more. I decided to start a new blog for several reasons. I need a place to be honest about the joys and success as well as the crappiness and pain that will come with truly changing my eating behaviors and patterns. I want to journal what I eat, how I sleep, my emotions and how I feel throughout the day. I want to find these patterns, and do what I can to overcome them. I want to start putting good, healthy things in my body instead of sugar and ugliness.

Today is the beginning of a new journey. Wish me luck!